Last Fall/Winter, a local photographer was offering $99 Mini Sessions.
Normally, you wouldn't think twice about seeing this type of special. But this special? This was a BIG DEAL.
Kelli Marie Photography was offering $99 Boudoir Mini Sessions, For those of you who might be unfamiliar with boudoir, it's intimate poses - robe, lingerie, naked in a bathroom or bedroom. It's incredibly sexy and often empowering.
I have wanted to do them for a while. First was to be a wedding gift to Marc, but at 24, it wasn't a priority. Then came job loss, one kid, weight gain, the hum drum of a normal marriage. Then it was a reward - a boudoir shoot once weight was lost. A temporary separation, a second kid.
And poof. Kelli was here with the opportunity.
Even though I am fat. Even though I have had NO experience posing as sexy, I booked my shoot. I wish I had counted how many times I started an email to Kelli requesting to cancel my appointment. The nerves I had while trying to shop for something that would hide the weight I've gained, the stretch marks my body has earned.
With a bit of help from my friend, I settled on an outfit. Woke up early on a Sunday to shower and do my makeup, and I snuck out of my house to meet a woman who would *hopefully* be able to make a vixen out of me. There I was - a 31 year old mother of two in yoga pants/leggings, a hoodie, and boots parking a family car, walking into a studio with lingerie that I never would have imagined myself wearing.
Meeting Kelli was like running into your best friend in Dunkins' and you haven't seen her in forever. There was a story of her attempts at a Christmas gift for her grandmother, there was chatting about me and my husband. Her looking at what I was wearing, offering suggestions, allowing me to quickly raid her closet for that last piece that would help pull it all together.
Once she started shooting, it was clear that Kelli is incredible. While I felt awkward and silly, and silently thinking "WTF? How will THIS look sexy?" I realized something. I'm still the same me - the confident, headstrong woman. Even though I'm much heavier then when we met, I knew my husband would love these photos. That even if he didn't, I would. Because while he is important, I am more. I am more than a wife of 7 years, More than a mom of two kids, more than a worker. Before I was all of these things, I was Shaun. And while everything could always be improved, I knew what made me special. I'm a rarity - dark hair, light eyes. I have pretty lips. I am headstrong. I am stubborn, and loyal. I am me.
When I picked up my pictures, it was incredible to see what Kelli had transformed. While she didn't go take my arm off or remove 30 pounds, she highlighted me. Her words during the shoot of "That's it" validated my experience even more. To see her use my photo, to share my photo on social media and the feedback of online friends made me think "Damn, it feels good to be me."
So ladies, if you're thinking about doing boudoir - take the wise words of Nike and "Just do it."
